Love, Erika

Where Parker Came From

I just love Parker. He kind of falls into the shadows here on my blog, because Drew is older and has so many extra needs. But Parker is an amazing little guy, and he's such a bright spot in our family. And he has been even since before he arrived.

 
This will possibly sound weird, but I'm 100% certain I'm not the only mother that ever had this kind of experience. After I had Drew, and for several months afterwards, I was completely OVER the whole pregnancy/birth/having babies thing. I was done. I was so bitter about my c-section, so exhausted and fed up with breastfeeding, and colic, and sleepless nights and feeling so clueless and helpless about every minute of my life, that I swore up and down we would never have another baby. Like, okay, I tried it once and wasn't thrilled with the experience, so I just won't be doing that again. And yet, I had this feeling that I would. One more. I felt like there was another child out there for me. Who would be coming later, definitely..... not just right then, but soon enough.

When Drew was 12 months old we started talking about having another baby. Which--looking back on it--seems RIDICULOUSLY soon. What the hell were we thinking? But it was seriously like we were on some kind of path. We had started to have a clue that something was different about Drew but didn't know how, and we really believed that giving him a baby sibling to grow up with, in the long run,  would probably be really good for him.  And I got pregnant when he was just 14 months old.  I cried at night, wondering if we were doing the right thing by Drew because I knew I wouldn't have as much time with him during his twos.  It seems naive, looking back on it. I think you obsess a lot when you only have one child to worry about. In truth, it's not that big of a deal.

 
So anyway, there came Parker. He didn't arrive in the form that I expected. I was 100% certain I was carrying a girl.  I had a girl's name picked out, and girl's bedding and a whole theme for the baby's room.  We went to our ultrasound and the tech said it was a boy and I started crying and cried the rest of the day, actually. The waterworks were endless. I cried for several months after that, in private. Oh well. It all seems so dramatic in retrospect..... but at the time I was really torn up about it. The truth is, it just doesn't matter.

Time heals everything, and by the time I was into the 3rd trimester I was fine with it. His pregnancy was so easy, and everything went so well. When he was born, I had the VBAC I wanted, and it healed all of that unfulfillment that I had with my previous c-section. Whereas for 2 years I had not a day go by that I didn't think about it, and felt the pang of bitterness. After I had Parker and the VBAC, I have rarely thought of that c-section again. It's like it never even happened to me. He healed me in a wonderful way, because I got the birth experience that I wanted, and I have happy memories now.  It was like I called do-overs and was able to correct everything that I hated the first time around. That's good stuff.

 

Now that we're well into the game, I can't imagine not having my kids so close together (despite comments from relatives about how it wasn't a great idea).  Dave surprised me one day recently when he said, "I think the best thing we ever did for Drew was to have Parker." And I have always thought the same thing. For all the therapies that we get him, and all his time at school, nothing is as valuable as having a typically developing role model to live with day in, and day out, at a time when he really needs it the most. I can't even imagine how less effective it would be if we'd had our 2nd child a year or two later. The moment of need would have passed, and things would be so different. Now that Parker is 2 years and 4 months old, he's a a developmental stage that in some ways is not TOO different from where Drew is, from a social and play skills stand point. This puts them very much as peers and they learn so much from each other on a daily basis.  I really think that Drew would not be where he is today if we hadn't had Parker when we did.

He's also good from a momma standpoint. It's thrilling to have a typically developing child. I'm so much more aware of the milestones and the stages, and it's such a relief (and so fun!) to have him hit all his marks when he's supposed to. So cute to hear a child start talking so early, and express himself, and be so funny. It's just nice to have a nice, typical, "normal" experience with your child and be in the moment. We take normal for granted, but it's just such a relief.......a nice, easy thing. And so cheap!!! :D  We often marvel at how Parker says and does things on his own that we've had Drew in therapy for months to be able to do.
 

So as you can see, these two are brothers from somewhere in the universe sent to me to be their momma. Not sure why they picked me, but they came as a package no doubt.

 

Next Door

I feel like the only pictures I've taken of the kids this summer have been in the pumpkin patch. But really, if you had a pumpkin patch right outside your front door, would you not RUN WITH IT??  I think I pretty much waited my whole life to live next to a pumpkin patch. It's beyond awesome. Not only pumpkins, but summer squash, butternut squash, red potatoes, and cucumbers...... and the 3 varieties of pumpkins this year are the traditional jack-o-lantern carving style, the pie pumpkins, and also some GIGANTIC white blobby ones that are way cool.

And no, the kids did not pick the cucumbers.... they were just playing with all the discards that they throw out probably as decoys to entice the deer and varmits to NOT eat the good stuff.

 
 
 
 
 

 

 

Odiorne

Yesterday we went to Odiorne State Park because there's lots to do there, including a big playground, tidepools and rocks to explore at the water, trails to walk around and the Seacoast Science Center. The kids are getting so big, and so easy to take along to places like this. It took LONG ENOUGH for us to get to this point. It seems Parker and Drew have both arrived at this nice easy place at the same time. Phew.

Drew loves his hat. Wore it all day yesterday. Sadly, the hat is now gone and got lost in our travels. Probably got left behind at the Science Center, that was the last place we saw it. Such a bummer!! 

 
 
 
 

 

On the way home we had lunch in Maine at the Dog House. We quickly had to correct ourselves and tell Drew it was the HOT Dog House, because he started to think there were really going to be dogs there. Haha. Everything will be fine as long as we manage his expectations. :)

This was my super messy smeared up foot-long chili dog. With beans in it, which is typical for a New England chili dog. ;)  But it was good anyway.

 

And hey there's me!!!  I made it onto my own blog.
 
 
It was a fun day! Will update later with some pics of Parker. He was there too. :)

Gym Class

Since I haven't posted anything in a while, here is a snapshot of last night. After supper we went outside to play and it ended up being much like a P.E. class. Bikes, running, jumping, obstacles, etc. A good time was had by all. (and this was after going to the playground before supper and running around the perimeter of the fence several times..... hot and sweaty running!)

More Clough Adventure

Back to the lake we went this weekend...... this time with more toys. Two noodles, a little inflatable raft thing and a little boogie board (that shoots water). Since Target has decided that summer is now OVER and has put all the water things on clearance, it was a great time to pick some up.

These pics were all taken with the little point-n-shoot.
 

One berry, two berry, pick me a blueberry

 

We've been looking forward all summer to when the blueberries would be ready!  We're lucky to have a really huge and gorgeous blueberry farm right here in Goffstown so it's easy to just swing by and pick a couple of pounds. So beautiful. It seems we always manage to get there right around mid-day when the light is HORRIBLE (horrible!!!!) for photos but you get the general idea.

 
 
 
This year's trip was much improved over last year's. Last year when we went it was literally 100 degrees and the kids were sluggish and whiny (also Parker was just over 1 year old). This year it was still hot, but only about 90 this time and both kids understood the idea of only picking the purple ones. Drew doesn't eat blueberries, but if you give him a specific job like just picking the purple ones, he's happy to focus on his task and I think he had a good time blueberry pickin'.  Parker also enjoyed it but the hard part was to keep him from eating them. He's a NUT about blueberries but these really needed to be washed first, no telling how many chemicals he ingested.

A Morning at the Lake

Another quick one from today.  Not much story to tell, just a straightforward trip to Clough State Park which is a quick drive from us. A dip in the lake is a great way to keep the kids occupied for a morning!  Dude. That water is cold.

 

4th of July BBQ

We went to a cookout on the 4th of July this year!  I'm so tickled. I just can't even remember the last time we were invited to a cookout of any sort, let alone for a bbq-ish holiday!  Dave's relatives Laurie & Joe invited us out to their fabulous house and it's been a million years since we saw them, way before Parker was born.

Funny memory about Laurie..... I remember vividly the day I went to the hospital in 2007 for my ECV to try to have Drew manually turned around from his breech position when I was very near the end of my pregnancy with him. We had stopped by Dave's mom's house for some reason that morning on the way to the appointment, and Laurie was there. And I remember the LOOK that both of them gave me as we were leaving--that "oh HELL I'm so sorry about what you're about to go through" look. LOL. They said positive and encouraging things, but that LOOK that they were giving me was not entirely comforting.  I don't know why I remember that. It's weird what things stick with you.

So anyway, we had a beautifully hot and sunny day for the 4th and the kids had fun flying around the huge yard playing croquet, swinging, and taking frequent breaks in the "man room" in the basement where all the toys are.

It was my job to wrangle ALL the cousins together and get some group photos. Don't try this at home!! I'm a professional. (ha ha, I say this only in jest because these kids really didn't want much to do with posing for pics)  Drew, as usual, declined most of the photo opportunities.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

And lastly, my favorite picture I ever took of Dawn and her kids!

Drew's 4th Birthday Party

We had Drew's birthday party on July 3rd, which if you do the math is more than 2 weeks after his actual birthday. One, he didn't know the difference and he didn't notice, and two: we wanted to wait until his cousins and Aunt Dawn and Uncle Doug were all in town for our annual Week of Fun. And fun we had!   It was worth it to wait so long for his party.

 
The theme this year was Thomas the Train. I guess it never gets old. And now Parker is really into it too. So we have 2 kids all about trains at the moment.  Some time in June I took Drew to iParty and let him look around and see what he might want for his party. He had no idea what I was asking him to pick out, so he was all grabbing Minnie Mouse plates, football cups, hawaiian leis, and all kinds of stuff. Finally I just said, "what about Thomas? Isn't that nice?" And of course he said yes (he would have said yes to anything) so I made the executive decision.  He was excited.

Kind of had to compromise on the cake..... I could have gotten him a Thomas sheet cake from the grocery store and had it be nasty, or I could have gotten him a delicious cake with a less-specific theme on it. :) You know what I went for.  She did a nice generic outdoorsy scene on the top so I could have room to plunk a little train in the middle of it. It worked!

We did a pinata this year for the party! It was fun although nobody wanted to take a whack at it except for Drew (and Parker got in a few licks too). Finally it broke open and everybody helped pick up the shower of candy (I don't remember if it was the plastic bat or the golf club that got it open).

Drew secured the loot and ran it back to safety.

I like this shot of him blowing out the candles.

A cool gift from Uncle Doug was this bubble gun.... it makes a HUGE cloud of bubbles!

And lastly, one of Drew's presents was a big boy bike!  I didn't think it would be possible, but as it turns out you CAN make my child's head look even BIGGER with the addition of a helmet. And that would be an Age 14+ size helmet.  He's so sweet on his bike, he's still very cautious about it and is kind of afraid to ride it because he's afraid he'll get going too fast. But he's practicing on it a little at a time and seems to like it. Just needs to get used to it.

Museum of Science, Boston

For one of our day trips while Dawn and her kids were here, we went to Boston to visit the Museum of Science. Parker stayed home with Grammie and we just went with Drew. Dave and I couldn't believe how liberating it was with only one kid. Only ONE!  How easy. Nothing could be easier.   It was nice to just have Drew, although the museum (and the lengthy drive in Boston traffic) was just about too much for him. He didn't really understand anything he was looking at, he just wanted to run amok, overstimulated, excited, and later, just completely exhausted.

But anyway, we had a good time and it was nice to take a trip somewhere..... anywhere, other than my little corner of New Hampshire.

Random photos with no particular order......